Gaming on the Go

*note this is an article form an old website*

 

Cell Phone Games have become very popular in the past few years, and I am really hoping they will continue. 
Some practices are really dumb, mostly the “Pay money and win the game faster” practices, but not all games do that thankfully.

Here are a few games I recommend because I have them on my mobile device. These are not really a top list or anything just a few games that I think are fun.

 

Monkey Island 2, LeChuck’s Revenge (special addition)-I picked this up from a sale last year around the time that Lucas Arts (RIP) was shut down. I had never really played point and click adventure games (besides Nancy Drew) and was really drawn to the Monkey Island series. 
Really I think point and click adventures can find a home on the touch screen device (DS and Wii U included, but I don’t think that will ever happen).
Besides the game being filled with lot of fun characters and interesting puzzles, I found it really easy to use a touch screen, and it didn’t make the game less difficult. So if you can, pick it up.

Plants vs. Zombies- OMG this game!! I don’t know how many times this game has saved me from boredom on a long trip. I really hope people are reading this and their reaction is “No s** Sherlock” because there really isn’t anything to say about this game. It would be like talking about Angry Birds. 
FYI I will not be talking about Angry Birds because I really stink at the game.

Falling Star- This is a totally free game, and a totally rip off of Doodle Jump. I like it so much because it is free, and really addicting. Unlike Doodle Jump you don’t have monsters attacking you, so your only goal is to get higher.  Once you fall, you think “I can get higher than that” rinse and repeat.  The fact that you can unlock little outfits for your Star (the main character) is a cute little jester as well.

Pocket God- I found out about this (Free) game when I didn’t have an IPod or IPhone. I played it on my friend’s phone at lunch one day, and almost forgot to eat. Needless to say, when I did get my first touch screen device this was on the list of things to get.  This game brings out my sadistic side. I wish I didn’t get so much pleasure out of screwing with the lives of the Ooga’s (I called them minions).  I don’t actually know if this game is still free, but if anything it is a good stress reliever.

Robot Unicorn Attack (The first one) - I got this game for .99 in a sale from Adult Swim. I had played it originally on the computer, but I find it so much easier on the phone. I think it is the reaction time, it doesn’t feel off, so I’m able to time my jumps correctly. The sequel to this game was free for a while (it still might be) and my co-workers were really into it, but I didn’t have as much fun with that one. I think it had to do with the customizable Unicorns. It made the game to easy.

And Finally

Puzzle Agent 1 + 2- It should be no surprise that I like Puzzle games, so it should be obvious why I enjoy these games so much. I only revisit games when they touch that special place in my heart. The story, the humor everything about these games keeps me coming back and playing more. 
In light of the old saying show, don’t tell here are a few things that you will experience in Puzzle Agent. A Nordic Hippy Cult, living garden gnomes, a sexy spy, a sasquatch enthusiast, crazy people, astronauts, the FBI do I need to go on?

Maybe I should...

  

 

 

What's the Story Odyssus?

*note this is another post from an old website*

Let us move forward by looking back on a game from my childhood Wishbone and the Amazing Odyssey.

Wishbone was a kids TV show back in the 90’s about a dog that would imagine himself as the lead character of classic stories and relate the story to something happening to him in real life. It was a wonderful show that got kids interested in reading. This was the only game that was created to go along with his show, but by the premise they were planning for more games but that never happened. 

The game begins with an FMV of Wishbone sleeping in a library. He wakes up and greats the player with some exciting news. He has a new machine that will bring his favorite stories to life! He chooses The Odyssey because of the advanture that is tied to it. After placing the book into the computer he is able to visualize the story. The first thing  he tries is to talk to Odysseus, but something goes wrong and he gets pulled into the story. It is up to you, to save him by finishing the story, and hopefully rescue him. Now it's onto adventure with help from your first mate Eurylocus and the goddess of wisdom herself Athena. 

This is defiantly a game made for kids, the humor is silly and simple, and the violence in the original myth is non existant. You also learn a lot about Greek culture but game doesn’t force you, you can explore Wishbone’s library to help solve puzzles and other trivia in the game. 

Recently I have descovered that I misses out on PC Adventure Games in the 90s, and looking back this was my first experience with a Point N Click

Adventure.  This is a kids game, so it’s not difficult to figure out how the puzzles, most of the answers are laying right next to the problem, but it is still fun and can be difficult as the game progresses.

If you know the story of The Odyssey all the elements are there, just toned down. When in Cyclops cave, instead of blinding the Cyclops with a hot pike of wood, they use a blanket. After Circe turns his men into Pigs instead of having sex with her, Wishbone plays checkers to get his men returned to normal. I think we are all thankful for that.

There are even a few deaths within the game. The Cyclops will eat a few of your men, and one of your men falls from a cliff and dies on Circe’s island. You have to bury him with a coin you won by playing a game with Agamemnon in Hades. If you choose to try and sneak past Caribous (basically a whirlpool monster) you will visit Hades himself and have to play a game with him to return. Even if you choose to go past the monster Scylla, six of you men will be eaten by the monster.

Also, you do go to Hades, and besides the internal damnation it doesn't look like a bad place to live. No iternal burnings are shown, there don't seem to be souls of the dead trying to cling to life by devouring the living. Heck, Odyssus was told to sacrifice a goat in order to summon Tiresias, but instead he leaves it tied to a tree. A tree that grows in hell...kids game logic.

If anything this game is pleasant and nostalgic as hell. I can remeber sitting on my Gateway 2000 for hours just becoming obsorbed in this story that made me want to learn more about Greek Mythology. Wishbone was created to help children become interested and learn about classic literature.  I wish this game had become a series. I would have to love to play other games based off of this great show. 

TOP TEN PHOENIX WRIGHT CASES

*note this is from an old website I use to write for*

When I was in high school my friend came to me. He needed help with a game he was playing, and knew I liked puzzle type games and figured I could help. He handed me Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney, and the rest was history.

Phoenix Wright has become one of my favorite gaming series since then. Own all of the games, as well as the Miles Edgeworth spin offs and the Manga. I don’t think I have found a series of games that has challenged me, and entertained me as much as the Wright games and I cannot wait for more.

So, here are my top 10 favorite Phoenix Wright cases. I’m going to have a few rules to this list. No final cases. If I did that, the top 5 of the list would be the cases. Also, no spin off games, so sorry Edgeworth Cases and Apollo Justice this is going to be all Phoenix. I will include the newest game in the series though, even if you do not play as Phoenix for all of the cases. Also, I am not going to spoil any of the cases, if you have played them you should remember the ending, I don’t want to spoil it for people who might not have.

 

10. Turnabout Big Top – When creating this list, at first I didn’t remember this case very well. This Phoenix wright has the least amount of cases, the last one being one of the longest. After I replayed it, I found that it had a lot of color full characters that kept the story interesting. I mean that puppet! I have a soft spot for jerk puppets. This is also the game that started the trend of clowns in Phoenix games. Moe wasn’t funny but he reminded me of a happy uncle who thinks he is funny. Regina bothered me a lot. I just didn’t understand her naive nature was not believable. Her father was the victim in this case, and she just didn’t seem to understand that he died. 
As for the case, the twist was very believable; especiallybecause it involved Regina’s lack of emotional connection to people.

9. Turnabout Academy- This case comes from the newest Phoenix Wright game to come to America. It is one of those cases that you are not Phoenix but the newest member of the team Athena. This case was, surprising. It was nice to see Prosecutor Gavin make an appearance. He was one of my favorite characters from the Apollo Justice games besides Trucy Wright. Phoenix games are sometimes played out of order, so it was odd to see a character that we already met act differently.When I mentioned surprising, it wasn’t just because of Gavin making a cameo. There were a few character revelations that I didn’t expect. This case centered around 3 friends who all have something to hide. Athena pulls threw as a rookie, and is really starting to prove herself as a lawyer, this being her debut case. 
If I do have a complaint, the actual killer was easy to pick out, and the climax was a little on the stranger end. Still fun though, I got a lot of laughs.  

8. The Monstrous Turnabout- Also from the newest Phoenix Wright game and in my opinion it is stronger than Turnabout Academy.  This being the second case in the game, Phoenix gives the player a handicap by showing who the real murderer is in an opening cut scene. For the rest of the game this doesn’t happen. If that had been taken out, the case would have been more surprising. This case was very fun besides knowing who the killer was the whole time. I liked the introduction of Japanese superstitions and demons. The wrestling concept did seem out of place though. It ties into the motive of the murder and that I have to admit was a little weak.

7. The Stolen Turnabout- By far this is my favorite Phoenix game. Trials and Tribulations have the best cases, best characters and the most evil villain I have ever encountered. We will get back to her later though.  
This case involves a thief and a murder, rather than just the latter. I think this is the only case that involves a thief now that I think about it, other than that, this case that keeps you on your toes. The whole story for this is really in the court rather than the investigation. That is all thanks to prosecutor Godot. He is by far one of the most interesting characters in Phoenix Wright. He is a mystery to Phoenix and the player until the very final case. He says this is his first case, and has a grudge agents Phoenix, but won’t explain why. This grudge makes everything more entertaining because of the way Godot treats Phoenix and uses every little thing to throw back at him.  
The villain is fun I guess. I was surprised to find how he pulled off his crimes, and what his motivation was. They had given hints about everything, but it wasn’t until the final (mad) confession that it all came together.

6. Reunion, and Turnabout- This is the case that introduces one of my favorite characters of the series, Perl Fay.  At the ending of the first Phoenix Wright game Maya returned to her village to study harder so she can a stronger Sprit Medium. One of the underlining themes in Phoenix Wright is that the Fay family can summon sprits, this normally ends up with Maya (and Perl) summoning the sprite of Phoenix’s mentor Mia Fay when the cases is about to fall apart. I guess I like this case so much because it involves Perl and the first “gimmick” introduced to the games, Psych h Locks. The story is ultimately what draws me to the case. Anything involving the Fay sisters is gold for me. For the second case in the game, it does get pretty complex. More is learned about Sprit Mediums and how the Fay family isn’t as innocent as we first thought.  

 

5. DL-6-I don’t know if this one counts, but I’m adding it in anyway. This was a case that is grouped along with Turnabout Goodbyes, were you solve a 15 year old murder before it is closed forever. This is the case that connects most of the episodes in Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney. This led our favorite Prosecutor to become who he is. It had Mia also decide to go into the Law to help defend her family’s reputation (more on that later). This is why Phoenix became a lawyer as well, so he could help Edgeworth. 
Besides being important, this is the first case where you take down a challenging villain.   The one man in the series that has done nothing but insult (and assault) you, since you faced him. This was the final case in the original Phoenix Wright when it debuted in Japan for the GBA, and they added another case for the DS that’s why I can get away with this, and the next case.  

4. Turnabout Memories- This is the only first case in game I have on this list. Mostly because a lot of the time it is s tutorial for new players, but this one isn’t just that. This case sets the stage for (in my opinion) the best of the Phoenix Wright games because here is where we are introduced to where it all began. Mia Fay defending Phoenix wright. This wasn’t her first trial (We will get to that) this is the trial that she needed to do. Phoenix has been accused of murder (who hasn’t in this game) and Mia defends him because of the witness to the case. Yes, this is the introduction of Dahlia Hawthorn. 
The case is an easy one, it is the tutorial case, but I feel like they created it knowing that players who know the Phoenix wright games picked it up so they added a decent challenge and twist. 
A lot involves how Dahlia had given Phoenix a necklace the first time she met him, in that very court room six month prior. Every single day she asked him, “please give the necklace back” but Phoenix saw it as a sign of their love, and frequently showed it off.  It’s really funny to see Phoenix as a love-sick crybaby, and for the first time you want to strangle him because he is acting so stupid. If he only knew what secrets that necklace held. I want to keep this short, there is always time to talk about Dahlia Hawthorn.

3. Turnabout Sisters-This was the first case where you knew that anything can happen in a Phoenix Wright game. I think that this case became more significant after playing the later games because this is where it really all began. This is when Phoenix first meets Maya Fay, and has to defend her (not the last time he does this sadly). Maya was accused of killing her sister Mia. Looking back, you can see how much of a loss this is to Phoenix and Maya but also the game itself. After playing as Mia in the later games, you wonder what would have been different if she was there the whole time. 
Yet, this is a classic story trope. The mentor has to die in order for the pupil to ever achieve greatness. 
This is another one of those cases where you know who did it, and because it is Mia you cannot wait to see him get taken down. This event is connection to the DL-6 incident, and where you first hear about it.  This is where Phoenix truly became a character to admire, and where the Maya and Phoenix duo began.

2. Turnabout Goodbyes- Oh Edggy Poo!!! Remember way back in the beginning of the article I said that my friend was having trouble, this was the case he handed me. I had no idea what was going on, who any of these characters were, but I became hooked. After playing the game in the proper order this was the first time I began to like Edgeworth as a character. I’m not normally a fan of “emo” guys and this is as emo as you can get, but I wanted to help Edgeworth just as much as Phoenix did. This case is a great example of how the characters in Phoenix wright change from case to case. That everything that happens  (even little and out of place moments) effects how the character arcs. Capcom isn’t normally known for their writing, but these games are the exception to that. 
I can’t forget Lotta Heart as well, she appears randomly in the series again, and is a lot of fun to have. She is a southern girl always trying to get famous. She may have seemed like a burden at first, but if it wasn’t for her the case would have been lost. 
The Case right….Edgeworth is accused of murder this time, and (even though he doesn’t like it) Phoenix basically forces to defend him. Everything relates to the DL-6 innocent from the real murderer to motive, and why Edgeworth originally lost hope.  

If I had allowed myself to put final cases on this list, my Number One spot would have gone to Bridge to the Turnabout. This, I think was planned on being the true ending to Phoenix Wright, and I think I would be happy with it if it was.  Everything was wrapped up nicely between the three games. This cases involves little plot points from every case. 
Turnabout Sister, Reunion, and Turnabout, Turnabout Memories, and my number one spot.

 

1.

Turnabout Beginnings- My number one case ironically doesn’t have Phoenix in it at all. No, this case is all Mia, and I love it. She by far is one of the greatest characters in the Phoenix Wright games, and I don’t care if that sounds bias. 
This is the case that started Mia’s carrier, and also the case that helped her become the lawyer she wanted to. My friend, this is where we learned the true evil that is Dahlia Hawthorn.

Mia’s client is a convicted felon who has been accused of a second murder. Five years ago he was sentenced to death for the murder of a 14 year old girl by throwing her off of a bridge. This time he is accused of killing the policewoman who first arrested him, Valerie Hawthorn, on the very same bridge that she arrested him on.

This was not only Mia’s first case but Edgeworth’s as well, and what a first case it turned out to be for both of them.

The only witness to this case is a 19 year old collage girl by the name of Melissa Foster. The player knows that she looks very familiar to criminal that showed up in the first case of this game, Turnabout Memories, but this is the first time Mia would meet her. The witness claimed she was taking pictures for school when she witnessed Terry stab Valerie and shove her into the trunk of a car.

The true identity of Melissa is eventually revealed as Dahlia, and it leads to the mysterious accounts of Five years ago when she was said to be dead because Terry threw her off of the very bridge that he met Valerie.

Dahlia is the center of everything. She is the reason why Terry was put in jail, and why he escaped to meet with Valerie. Dahlia, five years ago convinced Terry (who was much older than she was) that they were in love, and should run away together, stealing a gem from her father so they would have money. Valerie knew about this and wanted to help them, she knew that Dahlia actually threw herself off that bridge that day and survived. No one knew about a pact that Dahlia and Terry had made, that when the going went tough they would choose death together. Only Dahlia didn’t choose death, and Terry believed to the very end that she wouldn’t betray him.

This case is the reason why I hate Dahlia and love her as a character. She was 14 years old when she tricked Terry. Five years later she tricked Phoenix all the same. She is where it all began for Mia, Edgeworth, Phoenix, and Godot. I wish I could spoil, but my lips are sealed.

 

 

So that is my top ten Phoenix Wright cases. I cannot wait till 2014 for when Phoenix Wright X Professor Layton comes to America , here is too many more Phoenix Wright games to come!!!

Also, always remember “The only time a lawyer can cry, is when it’s all over.”  

Top 10 Cats

*note this is from a website I use to write for before it died*

Today, I want to talk about one of my most favorite things ever!

Cats! The internet is full of them; you cannot go onYouTube, Facebook or even your news of choice without seeing a viral video of a cat.

Judging by the internet because we all know that is the only thing that matters you would think that there would be more Cats in videogames? I find they are not a popular as dogs.

So here are some cats that you may know of. I’m not including big cats, like tigers or lions (or bears oh my!) these are our cuddly house cats…Or variations of them

 

10. Lethe- Fire Emblem- I have her on the very top of the list because she is an optional character is Fire Emblem.She is also kind of a bitch, but has a soft side for her twin sister. Like most woman trying to make it, she has to voice her opinions loudly, to get far in life.

9. Katt Monroe -Star Fox 64- She doesn’t make much of an appearance which is why I put her up so low. Heck you can play through Star Fox and not even know that Cat is in the game at all.  She comes to help you destroying the base onMacbeth, and defending the Great Fox. When she was introduced, she knew Falco already and seemed to have had a close relationship with him. Katt also assisted on either Macbeth or Sector Z, depending on Star Fox's choice of destination after Zoness; makes me wish that she was a partof the game more. Her character was expanded on in the Star Fox manga series, that I haven’t read, but even for a short time she was handy to have around in Star Fox 64

8. Pokémon Cats- In generation one the of the most recognizable Pokémon characters besides Pikachu was Mewoth. He is the only known Pokémon that can speak to humans without the use of psychic ability. As a Pokémon, he is not that great even after it evolves to Persain. There are a lot more Pokémon cats now! Skitty, Mewostic, Glameow, and Purrloin to name a few. I have to admit I am not an expert on the newer generations, but I do remember getting very excited every time I found a wild Pokémonthat looked like a kitty.

7. Blinx- I admit to not having played this game for the Xbox. I didn’t own one when it came out, and but after doing some research I think I recall a few things about the series. This was one of the first games to have the Time Manipulation gimmick. Where when you screw up you can rewind the game and fix your mistake. The game spawned one sequel,- Where he is a NPC- and it didn’t make it onto the Xbox 360 so I am assuming that the series didn’t go anywhere after that. Blinx is described as brave and ambitious young Time Sweeper. He is also clever, cunning, quick- So an overall generic hero. If I could find this game I would pick it up, but I haven’t heard anything about it in years so who knows.

6. Felicia-Darkstalkers-She is probably one of the more well-known characters from any fighting game, mostly because of all the porn there is of her. I mean people come on; she is a nun…That knows wrestling, but still. Felicia once you know how to control her can be a very useful. She hits hard and can get up in your grill, if you let her. 

5. Ratchet-This is another game that I have never played, but I know who Ratchet is. I didn’t have many games for my PS2, and never was able to afford a PS3 so I have not played a single Ratchet and Clank game. So I’m not putting him as my number one for that reason. Yet, I know that his games were pretty good at first. Ratchet was one of the contenders for a PlayStation Mascot which I don’t think anyone ever decided on did they?

4. Uriko- She is by far one of the cutest characters I have ever seen in a fighting game. Epically one entitled Bloody Roar.  Uriko is the youngest fighter, and ultimately has the most potential. She is known as the half/beast because she is only able to tap into half of her power. That doesn’t matter to me though, after she performs her special move, she gets dizzy, and that moment shows an opening weakness, but her personality shines!

3. Klonoa- This is another game that I haven’t played myself but recently I noticed that it has been rediscovered. It looks SOOOOO CUTE!! I guess that is what makes it a cat game, there has to be some level of cuteness in my mind, and I don’t care if that is a personal opinion or not.Klonoa comes from the PS era, and is mainly a side scrolling platform, but it’s the story and the atmosphere that makes it appealing and fun.

2. Cait Sith-No one uses him…I’m not going to lie I never really cared for Cait Sith as a character. For a while I didn’t understand that he was a robotic cat, and who was actually controlling him. It was the black guy in Shinra. I should do research but who doesn’t know Final Fantasy 7, or Cait Sith.  Though, there was a moment with Cait Sith that I will never forget. I was watching my Boyfriend play FF7 and he was trying to defeat Ruby Weapon. Cait Sith’s Slots Limit Break, and defeated Ruby Weapon in one hit. It truly was amazing

1. Ghost Trick- There are major spoilers for this game right here…Just mentioning the fact that there is a cat in the game can throw people off.

But here it goes anyway!

Sissel- Threw the entire game, Sissel cannot remember who he is, so he trying to find his memory a long with who murdered him. He discovers that he isn’t who he originally thought he was, not a man, but a little black cat.Throughout the game Sissel doesn’t really understand what is going on, but right away has strong since of heroism. Once he discovers his power of Ghost Trick, he uses it to save Lynne who was murdered by an assassin. He says it is only to find out who he really is, but Sissel also saves other lives. It was nice to see how Sissel’s story ended as well. I may have spoiled a plot point but I don’t want to spoil the ending!  

Harvest Moon

I find it wonderful when I hear stories about how people discovered a certain game from your childhood. Maybe an older sibling introduced you to Mario and always made you play as Luigi. Maybe a friend first brought over Crash team racing and you spent a sleepover finishing every track. 

For me, I have this one hazy memory of first playing Harvest Moon 64.  

Every New Year's Eve family friends would come over, and while our parents were in the living room doing whatever us kids were playing video games. It was these days that I was first introduced to Mario 64, Zelda, rampage, and Harvest Moon 64.

At first I mentioned it in passing to my parents, and word of me enjoying games always seemed to get to my uncle Milton somehow. One day when I was visiting his house he hooked up the Playstation 2 he had for when I or my cousins visited and he popped in Harvest Moon Back to Nature.

I was so happy, that I started right away. The game was different from what I had seen on the N64, but I didn't care. This was my first farm to raise and my first time starting a new game. I played for hours not wanting to stop. My uncle and aunt just sat in the living room with me a watched, thinking back it must have been boring for them, but they didn't mind. They never minded because I was happy.

I grew up a Nintendo kid, and misses the Playstation age. I had only seen the system at friends houses and didn't know that Playstation games could be played on the PS2 or that PS2 memory cards didn't save Playstation games. So when it did come time for me to save and I couldn't my uncle, without even me asking got up and went to the store to buy a new memory card. He came back with, another Playstation 2 memory card. I don't remember being mad or upset, but right away he went to the store again and came home with a Playstation memory cards in time for me to save my game and go home. He even let me borrow the PS2 so I could continue. Let's just say my first town wasn't that great. My field was covered in weeds, and I barely grew any crops. The first animal I decided to buy was a sheep and didn't know I how to feed it, or that I had to push it back inside the barn at night. When I did make enough money to buy the feed I wasted most of it but filling every troff. Then I was only able to buy one feed a day because I didn't grow enough crops and would forge for the wild food every day.

I guess I learned a lot more from HM then I realized. How to plan a head, to micromanage, and be on time for things. Most of my harvest moon habits come from this game as well. I always name my first chicken Bird and all my cows start with the letter M, and Karen became the fist girl I tried to marry. I don't have that save file or memory card anymore, but that game is sitting in my Playstation at home waiting for me to pick up a controller again and play it when I get home. 

 My uncle eventually got me the N64 version so I could play on my own. The first girl I married was Mary of HM64.  I didn't know all of the goals of this game originally so I had first tied to befriend and marry Karen. (A favorite of mine from my short time playing Back to Nature). I didn't know how to save the Vineyard so Karen had gone to the city in my game. Popuri bothered me and had pink hair, so she was out. Shallow me has married every other bachelorette in HM but her.  I spoke to Elle'a grandmother and she died so I felt bad and didn't want to talk to her more. Ann, I could never figure out how to get her I like me. In a way Mary was my last choice but I grew to like her character. She was shy and liked to read. I found her more relatable than the other girls once I got to know her character.  What makes this game and this series so special in my opinion is that every experience is different for someone. It can be very personal if one of your cows die because they were sick and the ranch was closed so you couldn't get medicine and the game makes you feel bad...I have been able to swap stories with other fans about who they married, what crops they grow or if they prefer to rush and get animals first. 

I wish I could explain it better, why something as simple as a farming simulator game can bring such happiness.  Maybe it just goes back to the first time I got to sit down and enjoy Back to Nature, and how my aunt and uncle sat and watched me. 

Play, and threw the years I was able to build on that first memory. My uncle passed away five years ago, and I still think of him often. 

For every game I have memory. Mario party makes me think of nights with my girlfriends drinking and laughing. Smash brothers holds my memories of collage and how we would all get too competitive but still could laugh and head down to dinner. Mario itself I can trace back to the first games I payed with my older sister up to first meeting my boyfriend. 

Harvest moon is one game series that is special to me, not just for the memories that I hold playing it myself, but for the person I can remember. 

Beastly the game of no consequences or police

Sorry it's been a long time, but you know...Life.

Now lets go back to some games shall we? This time I'm setting my sights on another game based off of a movie.

As my blog post says I'm refurig to Beastly for the Nintendo Wii. I will get it out there now, that I didn't see the movie this was based on...I did see Beauty and the Beast so that's close enough in my mind. You know rich guy insults a witch and gets cursed to look ugly. The horror!!! In my opinion the guy actually still looks kind of hott, I mean his body is still nice. The witch didn't make him fat with a face full of pimples. 

Anyway, he kidnaps the quiet girl and keeps her in his house so they can fall in love. 

So, you think because this is a game based off of a movie you would get to play as the main characters right? Come on now, you should know better! You get to play as generic girl A or generic boy B, you know just in case you want to feel like your apart of the story but using a character that you don't even get to name. 

Yes, for the entire game your character is referred to as "You" not even he/she so don't think there is any replay value by picking another character. I know I checked. 

So what do you actually do you may ask? 

Well the first thing your introduced to is the school social network sight where you can "Like" or "Dislike" people posts. I didn't even realize you could do this on my first play threw, and it has no influence to the plot at all. Like most things you do in the game, it is pointless. From this page you see that you can unlock pictures and change settings be "friends" with the characters from the movie. Also, you cannot type in your own posts. Hooray for totally Not Facebook!!

The actual game starts with a clip from the movie, that explains nothing at all. You just see that rich hot, douchbag is running for president agents quiet smart girl. You can control a character here, and talk to the quiet girl. All she wants is to get enough people for the school trip to Manchu Pichu, so she asks you to get signatures from other students. So you walk around and talk to a bunch of people, then go back to her. Such Doesn't this sounds like such interesting game play? It is time for the first think you can do that would try to qualify this as a game. Throw things at campaign signs. Apparently you want douchbag to win the election, and have to stop any negative propaganda. So you throw stuff at the signs of his pooly drawn face that are graffiti. It's not like your using motion controls so you just have to point and press A. Then you count ballots.....A for one side B for the other. If it is blank or a Joke Ballot you throw it away. Yawn...if it seems like I'm rushing with run-on sentences, I am. This game is so boring and un-eventful waiting in line would be more fun.....

So after rich douche wins president he says he is going to throw a party. There is also something about rumors being told about Mary-Kate Olson but that's not explained. 

So you head to the party that is all access. Woo! No invitation required!! 

You go up to the bouncer and he asks for an invite and he heard nothing about this being an all access party and you need to get back to the end of the line...

I take back my statement from earlier, this game makes you wait in line for two minutes...you sit there and do nothing for two minutes.  

I would like to mention that I didn't pay full price for this game, I played $15 to much, but not full price.

After that exciting gameplay moment that will surly go down in videogame history. You force your way to the front of the line, only to get kicked out again.
You then go back to school and talk to rich guys friend, who says he will give you an invite if you give a note to rich douche girlfriend.
Lots of Padding...Dulll Dulll Padding.

Then you get into the party!!! At this part of the game you have to walk around and  "take pictures" for the school paper. So you walk to spots that have cameras on them and you unlock screen shots from the movie. I guess at this time your soposeto to be interested in some sort of plot point between the girl and rich boy, and that Mary-Kate is going to curse him or something. That is not really important at the moment though, what is really important that you need to be popular by showing off your awesome dance moves!

 Does anyone remember playing Flash Flash revolution? That's basically what your doing, with the Wii mote you press the arrows and your on screen character stands still and waves their hands in the air, while not responding to any actions you are commanding.
Your sprite just stands there waving their hands in the air while listing to the same repetitive tone that people think is house music I guess. You know, it like anything you are doing is totally pointless. At this point in the game you finally get to help Mary-Kate curse the rich kid. This mini game is the worst. It is just a timing game where you have to press A at the right point. It seems to be a guessing game when that is. Normal QTE will have a clear indicator about when to press A. This one has some vague flashing motion on a picture of a flower. Your like constructing curses with it...I have no idea what's going on really, and you have no idea that you do it I think. For the rest of the game you're trying to find out what happened to rich boy, by committing felonies.

I'm totally serious, the first thing that happens after Rich Douche is cursed you try to break into his locker to find out where he is, and when you can't get near it, you pull the fire alarm and not only break open one locker but six.  You don't get caught, or punished nor it is mentioned again.
Right after, you go to his house looking for him, and talk to another character from the movie. Some lady who says "No, No, Mr. Superman's not home" or something like that. You see a car drive away and "know" that you need to follow it, and steal someone's motorcycle of the street to follow it. One again, no police or anything. You just have to avoid the normal things on the road like oil spills and open man holes. Just weave in and out, almost like Spy Hunter but not as fun or anything like it not all because your on a stolen motorcycle in a video game that has nothing like the movie at all. Except for little totally out of context clips that I think are meant to move the plot a long, but are so minor that you would have had to see the movie to know who these people are and why they are helping the Rich Kid. Also, your character seems to be in the dark about everything, so the fact that you see these moments. How can your character know what is happening if the point of this game is to find out where rich boy is. Most of the cut scenes are 30 seconds long, and kind of show what you need to be doing in the next section, like seeing Rich Kid, who is now called Hunter, sneaking around to a Halloween party. 

Speaking of a Halloween party, it's Halloween! You talking to bitchy girlfriend and that other guy...I know it's lazy of me to not look up any names, It might even be unprofessional but are you reading because you actually care? If you care...Then sorry? 

So back to not caring, your told to play a crane game for cheep dollar store candy, and I have to say this is probably the worst mini game in the whole game. None of the games are that great, flash games for advertisements seem to function better. This game is barely responsive. Remember in Kirby you have the mini game where you have to pick up a fat or thin Kirby for lives. 

This is like that, but this one you have to hold the Wii mote sideways, and roll it forward to try and pick up the candy. It works about half the time. I did rush a bit, so I failed and had to retry a few time, then it became personal, so I gathered all my gaming skill and picked up the candy eyeballs and gummy bats. Victory was sweet! After the candy is retrieved, you will discover that I lied. There are police in this game, they just don't do anything. 

Apparently there was a murder, or an attempted murder they don't make it clear. They think it was Hunter though. The three policemen in the area, tell you to leave at first. Then after about a minute they leave the a murder scene unattended, so you now get to commit felony number 5 (maybe) by disrupting a crime scene. By playing I Spy. So you look for bullets, a movie ticket and other stuff, that most likely has nothing to do with the murder case at all. After you witness Hunter fleeing on a motorcycle and you steal another bike to follow him. After, you do end up at his house, and get to golf with Neil Patrick Harris off of a roof. After it  is strait to the Zoo. 

If it seems like I'm rushing again, at this point the game is starting to just push you along the non existing plot like it is surprised that anyone would play it for this long. Back to the golfing portion if you are really interested, you ever play NES golf, or even Mario Golf? It's is like that, kind of hard to fuck up. 

At the Zoo it's time to commit felony number 7 and climb the wall to break in after hours. Kind of like the hexing game, you need to click on the hands at a certain time to go up the wall. If you get the rhythm down it's easy. 

After you break in, it's time to learn facts about animals. You can go up to the different exhibits and read about animal facts, because a security guard catches you in the Zoo. Oh no!!! 

You tell him that you work there, and in order to prove yourself be asks you animal trivia....Because that proves you work there....

Another cut scene, it's about Elephants...

Finally the last part of this dumb dumb game. 

You finally head to Manchu Pichu, the final chapter in this epic tale of wandering around comitting felonies and not finding out any information at all! Or even seeing the main characters. They didn't even show a movie clip of them at the field trip or anything.

In South America, you need to take pictures of land marks and play spot the difference for some reason. 

You need to find what is different between a drawn picture and a color picture. Your teacher also says there will be a quiz, so you read facts on billboards around the area (if you want to I didn't) and once you pass....That is the end. I'm serious, it just cuts to a clip from the movie of hot guy (back to normal) and girl run to each others arms and saying that they are beautiful...on the inside (HA!!!). Then you see stuff on the totally not facebook.

I'm not being lazy, there is no resolution, you have no idea what happened to the people the game is about. I have no idea how hot guy turned back to normal, and how the girl he kidnapped was cured of her stalkhome syndrome, or if Neil Patrick Harris gets his eye sight back or anything!!

The only  "reward" I could find  for finishing, is a 30 second clip of the hot guy working out in his underwear. That is very sallow of me but what can you expect, this was the worst game I have ever played in my life. The fact that it is a game based off of a bad movie doesn't mean anything here. I expected it to be bad, but not so lazy that there isn't even an ending.

The Question is, did his game suck because it was clearly marketed at girls? The movie was made during the Twilight phenomena, and I guess it was popular enough to get this game, but..I don't know what I was expecting to be honest. They should have stuck with copping Twilight and made this game trivia based.

Don't waist you time...Unless you want to laugh and wait in line.

Once again, may the stars guide you 

Hoshi*

The Token Chick

Alright, it's been a while sorry but inspiration has finally struck. There have been a lot of discussions about female characters in video games. There is a mutual agreement that a lot of female characters only appear in the game as fan service. You know, Boobies!! In a lot of cases, they are treated as a prize in many situations. The archetype of the hero going on a grand adventure to rescue the princess has become immortalized by Mario and Link. I know they weren't the first characters to do it, but they are one of the most recognizable.

Peach and Zelda will be talked about eventually. I want to try and focus on the female characters that appear in games that are not about the adventure, and are not considered the prize.
Girls like this tends to fall into a goofy side kick, or the unattractive tom boy. What makes characters like this special, is that you can tell they were just thrown into the game to be a contras the main character sometime, or just because they want to appeal to another demographic. AKA...A character a female gamer would be able to relate to in a dominantly male game. So do characters like this suck? If they do suck, why could they have been so much better. What qualities do they have that make a good characters, but are just ignored or brushed off.

This isn't going to be a list of something, I would rather give some examples and explain why they work or not.

Let me start with a big one, that I personally hate.
Amy Rose.
She is one of the prime examples of a Mary sue. Yet, she tries to be proactive but it gets her into more trouble. I'm going to admit, I like sonic, but it's not my favorite game series. I have only played the Sega games and Sonic adventure II for the gamecube. Sonic on the game cube has given me more memorable experiences even though  I mostly played with the Chao's, but I found most of the gameplay fun and enjoyable. I was soooo happy to not play as Amy in the main story line. She, unlike Sonic, cannot run as fast, and her main attack is a larger hammer. I think what bothers me the most is the fact that she is just obsessed with Sonic. It's like she is the worst of a fan girl that stalks him, gets herself into trouble and has to be saved by him. Even though he clearly doesn't have any interest in her. So why was Amy added?
According to Wikipedia, Amy was first created for the Sonic Manga, and her first official game release was Sonic Cd, but not given a staring role till Sonic Adventure for the Dreamcast. Before that, only other female characters in Sonic were humans. Amy is described as a "self proclaimed girlfriend of Sonic" and her entire personality is centered around wanting to impress him or disliking those who would try to harm him. What is there for a girl to relate to? Her obsessive fangirlizm? That seems to be what her personality boils down to. In my own experience, the guys I know find Amy to be annoying because her only trait seems to be screaming "Sonic".
Yet Wikipedia also says she is the fifth most popular character is Sonic and the most beloved female character. She doesn't have much to compete with in the female character category. Cream is a little girl, Rogue is...Sexualized, and the human characters are....I can't really describe them because I find it weird that the humanoid hedgehogs are having relationships with humans. Her following could contribute to her role in the television series, but her personality doesn't seem to change much. I am beating on Amy a lot, and she does have other qualities. She is defiantly courageous, when it comes to defending her beliefs she doesn't back down to any challenge. She will even blindly go up agents Eggman's robots to help her friends. It's just that annoying "Sonic" voice that gets to me.

Someone that works well as a token chick has to be 


Let me get back to you on that....I know it's totally lame and a cop-out, but I honestly cannot think of a token chick that I enjoy. Someone like Laura Croft and Samus are the main characters in their own series of games. This idea of a Token girl in games is almost uncommon. This idea is mostly found in television. 

So if I have any readers out there, please enlighten me! 

May the Stars Guide You 

*Hoshi